I watched this short video by Matthew Hussey and he shared how ladies sometimes found it hard to get over some guys they broke up with.
I could not agree more.
In his illustration, he explained why certain guys are so hard to get over with. I would think the factors apply as well when it comes to ladies who are hard to get over by guys.
It boils down to what Matthew named as, unique pairing(s), the more unique pairings you have, the more addictive you become to someone.
So what is a unique pairing? A unique pairing is a display of both ends of the spectrum. To illustrate, imagine someone you are with on a date. He teases and flirts with you throughout the date. He makes spontaneous requests and remarks that can be endearing in a way but towards the end of the night, he says, “Hey it’s getting late, let me get a cab and I can send you home because I don’t want you going back all alone at such a late hour.”
The scenario I just described seems usual enough. You will be surprised that most of us are only capable of displaying one trait or the other, ie. being a safe and sure bet, or living excitingly on the edge. The real hook is when both ends of the spectrum come together, this individual is what Matthew calls “a rare bird.”
As can be deciphered from the name, a rare bird does not appear on every corner of the street. Why is that?
Most of us are predominantly comfortable with conducting ourselves on one spot of the spectrum, such as being JUST funny all the time, being JUST a gentleman, being JUST sexy, being JUST strong and independent, or being JUST a serious talker and can have deep meaningful conversation, and the list goes on. For all the above, if you only have one of those, you are easily replaceable.
We tend to resist the idea of being funny and serious at the same time, because of the numerous limiting beliefs such as “that is not me”, “I can’t be funny enough”, or “I won’t look natural”. However, the truth of the matter is: the only way to attract a rare bird is to become a rare bird yourself. To do that, you need to create multiple unique pairings that you will eventually be comfortable conducting yourselves in.